Where [do we stand]?

I read a couple articles on wellness journaling yesterday and one suggested recording a snapshot of where you stand currently on the Wellness Path. Sounds like a pretty solid piece of advice. The idea is that when you read it later on down the line, you can see what progress you’ve made. So where do we stand?

How does one answer the question, “how are you?” when it requires a thoughtful and thorough reply? Where should we begin? I’ll start with the medical stuff. Approximately 20 months into living here, I finally sought out a psychiatrist in SF who will take my health insurance. Seeking out resources is a bit tricky when your brain is forever hooked up to a disorder that feeds somehow on both stagnation and entropy. My doc doubled my SSRI (AKA antidepressant) from 50 to 100mg, 1/3 the maximum daily dosage.

Once you are diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, you are diagnosed for life. I mention this only because I harbor some anxiety about increasing my SSRI intake, since we acclimate to drugs and eventually require more for the same effect. It can be difficult for psychiatrists to pinpoint the SSRI that will work for a given patient. Trial and error is the go-to methodology. There are tons of antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications out there and there’s no hard science to accurately predict the one that will interact best with your brain’s unique chemical cocktail.Taking the wrong one can have any of the dizzying side effects that are rattled off on Zoloft commercials while a smiling woman pushes a child in a swing. My grandmother, for example, ran the gamut of psychoactive drugs and each new prescription landed her right back in the hospital. Sertraline was my first attempt and it was spot-on. My mood lifted within a week of taking the daily medication and I did not experience a single negative side effect. This one works well for me. Each time the dosage is increased, we inch closer to the point where I will have maxed out and need more; this is where we start trying something new and unknown.

Moving on…
Let’s talk love life because it’s interesting and also because it’s literally always on my mind. I have a friend with benefits. We tried it once before and I chose someone else. I don’t make a habit of regretting my decisions, but I can’t help this one. My friend – let’s call him Jack – is a beautiful human. He is the sort of intelligent that remains curious and doesn’t ever seem to condescend. He laughs easily and often.

[Here Grace’s handy Calendar app reminded her that she was supposed to be at work at that very moment for a shift she had all but begged for, and she literally ran off]

To be continued…

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